As a new mother, I’m always delighted by offers of help.  It’s generous and good of friends, neighbors and loved ones to pitch in.  But honestly?  Some help is more helpful than others.  A few ideas for being a real help after the jump.

  1. Offer to stock up on easy foods.  New moms often have plans about eating healthy, but during the first few weeks, it can be downright tricky to get food to your mouth at all.  Stock up on her favorites – animal crackers, pretzels, granola bars.  Anything that she can grab out of the pantry and eat one-handed.  Meals are great, but they’re only part of the picture – my feeling is that the meals are more about feeding the rest of the family and absolving the new mother of guilt for stepping out of the kitchen.  She’s lucky to have time to sit down for dinner.  Cans of diet soda might work, too.
  2. Offer to go with her to her six-week doctor’s appointment.  This is tricky.  Even if she’s headed back to work and has childcare arranged for her child, odds are that’s AFTER the six-week check-up.  Doctors’ offices recognize this dilemma and tolerate newborns.  But have you ever had a pelvic exam while your infant cries in her carrier?  Yeah.  Babysitting at your house raises the crazies – packing, preparing, worrying – but if you can arrange to tag along to the appointment and calm the baby in the waiting room while mom does her thing?  That’s huge!
  3. Bring over brainless magazines, if the mom is into them.  She can’t concentrate on Russian novels right now, but having the new People or Cosmo to skim while breastfeeding?  It’s a nice indulgence.
  4. Bring over baby wipes.  Everyone brings cute togs and stuffed toys.  You can’t guess about diaper size or preferred brand.  But wipes are fairly universal, and every one seems to run short on them early days.
  5. Offer to babysit an older child, especially one who likes you and is old enough to see an afternoon outing to the zoo with Aunt So’n'So as a treat.  Alternatively, walk the dog.
  6. Offer to tag along on her first public outing avec baby.  It will get the reluctant new mom back into the world, and help the enthusiastic one feel like she’s got a reason to go.  An hour in Starbucks is like a night at the opera after you’ve given birth!