I’ve recovered – more or less – from my slumpy, sad mood of the other day.  First, I did some searching for jobs on Monster, and here’s what I’ve concluded:

 

  1. Yes, the job market is tough.  But it’s not nearly as bad in our metro area as it is in rustbelt manufacturing towns, like the one we left behind.  A friend of mine there is really feeling like she’s facing an uphill search.
  2. Yes, the job market is tough.  But it’s not as bad in my field, in this town.  I quickly found two jobs that seem like they could be perfect fits.  Would I get an interview, much less an offer?  Who knows.  But I can find jobs to apply for, and that’s half the battle.
  3. While leaving a newborn is rough, odds are pretty good that my daughter will be three months – probably older – by the time I’m back to work full-time.  That’s a lot of transition time.  I couldn’t leave her in two more weeks.  It would crush me flat.  But I don’t have to leave her that quickly.

 

But here’s the one thing that still bugs me: our annual pilgrimage to Disney World will almost certainly become an every-other-year, every-third-year or even less often outing.

I’m missing the Mouse.

In my real life, I often pretend to be ambivalent about Disney World.  Part of me wants to be the kind of parent who takes her kids backpacking in a nature preserve or riding antique carousels in Paris.  Disney isn’t cool, and that troubles some piece of me.

But it’s all an act.  The truth is simple:  I love Disney World.  I love it from the second we both the Magical Express at the Orlando International Airport.  I love riding the monorail.  I love the music, the lights, the resorts.  I love everything about Disney.

But my love is conditional.  I only love Disney when we’re staying at a Disney resort.  I loathe staying off-property, fighting the crowds to park and make our way to the gates.  What I really hate is feeling pressure to get our money’s worth from our day in the park.  You don’t dare go back mid-day for a nap in your hotel, because you’ve paid to park.  (Plus, it would take hours to pull this off.)  And on your days off, while you’re stuck in your time share or off-price hotel, it’s hard not to feel like your days away are bleak and colorless compared to your time in the World.

Yeah, Disney has me.  Behind the Wall of Mouse, I actually relax and enjoy knowing that we have nothing to do but enjoy ourselves.

But Disney requires around $4000 for our family to spend a long weekend on site.  Actually, it’s probably closer to $5000 once we add in every little thing.  When Jimdear was having rock star years in Big Law, that sum represented a tiny fraction of his annual bonus.  Not pocket change, no … but not an amount that we felt was problematic.

If things are tighter, there will be SERIOUS pressure to cut back on the big Disney trip.  I can’t say it will be misplaced, either.  That’s a lot of money for something that is, ultimately, frivolous.  Can I really justify taking that kind of indulgent vacation instead of saving the money?

It’s sort of a Gift of the Magi situation, though.  All of our vacations since Jimdear went to Big Law have been fraught with uncertainty.  If a Big Deal was pending, he often found himself juggling work and vacation.  I’ve watched Jimdear work his Blackberry while in line for the Flying Dumbos and in between building sand castles with Kyd.  I’ve watched him drive around a tiny town in the Napa Valley trying to find reliable internet access so he could deal with a last-minute problem on a deal.  (At the time, his boss was on a remote island off the coast of Italy doing the same.)

So I’m trying to remind myself that while Disney might become less frequent, it would be free of that particular tension.  I’ll never forget watching Jimdear grimace as Tinkerbell helped him connect to the Disney internet system as I bundled Kyd off to the swimming pool.

The one thing that looms as a possibility that really troubles me is being tucked into a timeshare with my in-laws.  They love time shares in Florida.  They own three weeks.  I can’t explain that, and hey, to each his own.  But spending a weeks’ vacation with my in-laws?  Yikes!  If it’s what I had to do to make my kids happy, I guess I’d suck it up.

But oh, I am so much happier behind the Wall of Mouse.