Cravings and Ravings

As a new mother, I’m always delighted by offers of help.  It’s generous and good of friends, neighbors and loved ones to pitch in.  But honestly?  Some help is more helpful than others.  A few ideas for being a real help after the jump.

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So my last few posts have been very, very insane.  I don’t actually feel like the raving lunatic those posts imply.  It’s just cathartic for me to throw it all out there, into the universe, whenever panic strikes.

And yet I am nervous.  Change always make us nervous, right?

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I’ve recovered – more or less – from my slumpy, sad mood of the other day.  First, I did some searching for jobs on Monster, and here’s what I’ve concluded:

1. Yes, the job market is tough.  But it’s not nearly as bad in our metro area as it is in rustbelt manufacturing towns, like the one we left behind.  A friend of mine there is really feeling like she’s facing an uphill search.
2. Yes, the job market is tough.  But it’s not as bad in my field, in this town.  I quickly found two jobs that seem like they could be perfect fits.  Would I get an interview, much less an offer?  Who knows.  But I can find jobs to apply for, and that’s half the battle.
3. While leaving a newborn is rough, odds are pretty good that my daughter will be three months – probably older – by the time I’m back to work full-time.  That’s a lot of transition time.  I couldn’t leave her in two more weeks.  It would crush me flat.  But I don’t have to leave her that quickly.

But here’s the one thing that still bugs me: our annual pilgrimage to Disney World will almost certainly become an every-other-year, every-third-year or even less often outing.

I’m missing the Mouse.

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My darling daughter is here, in my arms.  At my breast, actually.

I’m so happy and yet I’m shivering with anxiety, too.

Dear reader, I need to find a job.

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